Month 18: February

I feel a great battle has been waged

One in which I've failed.

Yet around me I see banners wave

With cheers that simply pale

In comparison with my own fears,

and my doubts that scream so loud.

I fight to know the worth of my soul,

and if my Father is proud.

People around me give me praise

As if some great thing I have done,

When in reality all I feel is that

I haven't yet become

enough to earn any accolade,

It's misconception that runs deep:

That although there might be success outside

There's always weakness underneath.

But this is the weakness that turns me to God

and helps me understand

To him, it's not about what is done

But what is desired within.

For if desire is right, then always, with time

The fruits will follow our faith.

I hold onto hope that in a future that's bright

I can be the me that is great.